Cost

Sacrifice. It’s a word that has a thousand implications for me, or perhaps a thousand consequences. I understand that if I ever truly want to succeed in MMA that I have to give up some aspects of my life. And until recently… I never had the motivation, or rather the determination/balls to actually give them up.

Honestly, it’s only one thing I truly need to throw away from my life… alcohol. But the more I think about it… the consequences of this one sacrifice, affect my entire life. The rest of this blog, isn’t an attempt to garner pity, or applause, but rather a place for me to fully understand what I’m giving up. So when ever I feel like I don’t have enough motivation to train… I’ll know what I gave up and go the extra mile so to speak.

The first thing I’ll lose would be friends. They wouldn’t stop associating with me because I stopped drinking, but rather we would see less of each other, and more then likely slowly drift apart. It’s sad, or rather depressing for me, since some of the best nights of my life has been with these guys.

The girl. The reason for this is two fold… one is from no longer drinking, while the other is time spent at the gym. Honestly, I don’t even have one to lose right now, but… yeah. This is always the hardest part to think about foregoing for a couple years…

My youth. College life is centered around partying, and while I could still go, it wouldn’t be the same if I couldn’t drink. Plus who wants to be around what you can’t have?

I'm a hopeless romantic....

"Together"

She stands tall, her pretty faith
tightly wound across her soul

He throws aways the photograph of his day
the sights lackluster, shown just in black and gray

Together they seem
like sun and moon
far removed seem there
everyday lives

She qoutes poetry
and spouses philosophy
her beauty, not just flesh
but otherworldly

At a simple glance
his life seems such a mess
but simple never shows
the truth of ones soul

She's as pretty as the snow storm
he's as shallow as the rain

She's the light of his world
she takes away the pain
everlifting happiness
her beauty all the same

He's the pillar which she rests
he's grounded so profoundly
his sporadic bouts of poetry
can make her stop breathing

Whoah, where did this come from?

"Snow"

She walks around
while the snow falls to the ground
no snowflake ever dares
to grace her pretty face

He runs away
from the world everyday
the pain makes him feel
like everythings ok

Sometimes at night
starlight shows true beauty
drenched in silver light, she makes
one wanna die, or maybe just try

Sunrise generally means hope
to him it means hell
anotha day to run away
from the things he can't hide

Mid day sun shines upon
grass and rollin hills
she strolls about
just an angel walkin around
no wings in sight, but I know to be true

Finally comes a time
when I think he has stop
legs and feet bloody
his soul worn thin
calming down, he walks around
this beautiful place he's in

She glides quietly
following the tracks in the snow
crimson splashed across the white
the pain and angst visible to her naked eye

He finally stops
exhausted to the point
he finally wants to die
he knows all the reasons why

She finally finds her quarry
and knows just what to do
kneeling down to stand with him
she takes both his hands
with a simple look in each eye
she kisses him goodbye

His eyes fully shed
his entire life
he looks into her eyes
and kisses her goodbye

and finally dies